| Will Sarah Palin be a factor in 2010? Will she or won’t she? |  |
Palin has joined Huckabee at Fox News — cashing in on their fame. Rumor is that she left Alaska to come south to cash in, and she has been cashing in big time. Huckabee has already signaled that he may not make a run for the 2012 nomination. He doesn’t want to cut back on the gravy train to risk a run for the White House.
In the past week, Palin has been dissed from several sources. Conservative thinker David Brooks called her and the Tea Party Movement a joke and an embarrassment.
John McMcCain 2008 campaign strategist, Steve Schmidt, called her untruthful. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/10/AR2010011002296.html
Well, with her critics in the GOP establishment, making it clear that Mrs Palin won’t get the GOP nod, instead of being like Joe Kennedy, with a famous name and no place to go, Sarah Palin has FOX News.
FOX News that gravy train for right-wingers, whom big Roger Ailes like, Karl Rove, Newt Gingrich — Michael Steele supped before becoming the Republican National Committee chairman– opened its doors wide to embrace Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin said in a statement that she is “thrilled” to be joining Fox,
adding, “It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news.” http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/11/AR2010011103736.html?wpisrc=nl_politics
You couldn’t picture Sarah Palin saying anything else, but many will beg to disagree with her take on Fox including the heirs to the company that owns FOX News.
FOX big money bags owner, Rupert Murdoch’s, son-in-law Matthew Freud, issued a statement this week, with his take on Fox News. “I am by no means alone within the family or the company in being ashamed and sickened by Roger Ailes’ (Roger Ailes is Sarah Palin’s new boss at Fox) horrendous and sustained disregard of… journalistic standards,” Freud said, apparently speaking for Murdoch’s 41-year-old daughter Elisabeth, a former News Corp. executive who owns a television production company, and 37-year-old James Murdoch, chairman and chief executive of News Corp.’s European and Asian operations and his father’s heir apparent. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-11/is-ailes-finished-at-fox/?cid=bs:archive8
With a book deal and now with this big Fox News deal, what ever you call the lady, you are going to have to start calling her rich.
An update: Sarah Palin is slated to address the alcohol industry in Las Vegas. The social values matron in sin city? Talking to liquor dealers? Why Sarah? Oh, why? She is also scheduled to address the Tea Party Convention in Nashville — For money?
“Palin is currently covering the nation earning $100,000 per speech!”
(link)
“At the $550 per ticket price of the Tea Party convention to be held in Nashville in early February, Palin will give the keynote address at the convention, and a special ticket to see only her costs $350 plus fees.” (link)
She is reportedly being paid $120k to speak to the faithful. The suckers! No free enterprise. This enterprizing lady is freely snatching in the dough.
I saw on the Internet this critique of Mrs. Palin : “Don’t forget, Sarah Palin quit on her own people… The people of Alaska. Don’t think for a second she won’t quit on America.”
Well, didn’t she quit Alaska because she wasn’t making enough dough?
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{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
If the so called writer for this piece of garbage got paid, then someone got taken. Talk about a dim witted nobody with jealousy a mile wide. Anyone asking the author of this crap to speak for 100K?
Not a Palin fan, but I’m not in favor of her family being criticized in the press.
As a fan of Palin – and all the successful candidates she’s endorsing this Primary season – I find the silly, masterbating humor of the adolescents on this site rather pathetic – especially since the HuffPo crowd has dished out a lot better crap than we’ve seen here! BTW, Palin’s gig on Fox was aimed at keeping her in the loop on the daily news cycles, but she seems to be ahead of the curve just on her FaceBook page alone. And, for fledgling capitalists on this site, what’s so wrong about her wanting to earn beaucoups bucks to pay down all her legal fees incurred fighting those 100 percent bogus lawsuits (dismissed as trivial – it’s on the record); too bad the State of Alaska had to pick up a tab for $2M – thanks to the mental-midget “Alaskan Mafia” of Obama operatives (funded in part by $$ from Soros, but even more by Franklin Mint’s & Fiji Water’s billionarie owner, Stewart Resnick) – who are now entertaining that illustrious fraud, liar, stalker, faux journalist and general creep, Joe McGinnis, as he haunts the bars of Wasilla, when not cursing the 20-foot wall that Todd Palin & friends erected between their property & McGinnis’ rental next door.
In case the truth gets lost altogether here, it was SNL and Tina Fey who concocted that semi-funny line about seeing Russia from her back porch (although, in point of fact, the Bering Strait IS just a few miles away and, from some promontories, CAN actually be seen from that part of Alaska).
Just to throw down the gauntlet, I’d put Palin’s political instincts up against those of any major player in either major party (including the supposed guru Gingrich) any day of the week. And PULEEZE, don’t call that self-anointed “Conservative” David Brooks (or David Frum, for that matter) “conservative” – NOT!! He’s about the biggest RINO/Establishment type along the Beltway! As for Frum, he’s a Canadian through & through – what do you expect? He’s no Brian Mulroney!! (Which is not to say that, ultimately, Mulroney was all that successful as Canadian PM, but at least he was closer to being a Thatcher/Reagan Conservative than that twit Frum ever thought of being!!).
Sarah Palin is an embrassment to this country and stupied and some of the comments that I have read she have found so many fools. Listen she is making big bucks selling hate and most of the people who support her are out of work.
Can’t believe the bile I’ve read on this site! One reason I left the oh-so-smarty-pants Libertarians years ago. I recall the days when it was a discussion group – NOT a third-rate political party! Of course, we believed passionately in the ideals of the Libertarians, but we were smart enough to know that if you participate in the system, you condone it. For purist libertarians (small”l” in the old days), acting like Republicrats and Democans was NOT what the original movement was all about. For my part, however, I did miss the rough & tumble of elections and supporting candidates, etc., so I rejoined my Conservative GOP friends and haven’t looked back since (although attending a handful of Libertarian get-togethers [still pretty pathetic] from time to time).
Readers;
More Sarah Palin Internet jokes. The American people are expressing themselves. And are striking the old funny bone.
Sarah Palin lands in Tahiti this afternoon to help with the rescue effort.
Sarah Palin has already accomplished something on Fox news I hadn’t thought possible: made Glenn Beck look smarter than someone else.
Can someone please tell Sarah Palin where Haiti is? Last seen getting directions at a bodega in south central trying to scoop the story.
They called Sarah Palin “Gov” for short, but not for long.
Casting notice: Fox is looking for cute fifth-graders for new game show, “Are You Smarter Than Sarah Palin?”
Glenn Beck with Sarah Palin is just like watching the worst date movie ever.
Got in debate on whether Sarah Palin uses a teleprompter in her speeches. Of course she does – it just doesn’t have spellcheck or factcheck.
Sarah Palin is so dense, light actually bends around her.
Okay Sarah Palin’s grasp of geography is a bit loose to say the least. The good thing is that her not finding Haiti can be considered relief.
D,
Let me see if I understand your position here. It’s ok for Harry Reid to make racist comments about Obama referring to his “light skin” and lack of a negro dialect. But it’s not ok for Palin to state the fact that she can see Russia from her patio?
Are you actually telling me that it’s ok Bill Clinton can say; “A few years ago this guy would be getting us coffee”. But it’s not ok for Palin to point out that portions of the Healthcare reform resemble death panels?
Are you seriously telling me it’s ok for Harry Reid to refer to opponents of Healthcare reform as perpetuating slavery. But it’s not ok for Palin to point out blatant lies?
Stupid knows no political affiliation, neither does hypocrisy.
“Obama, Biden and Pelosi are politicians. Politicians are fitting targets for humor.” News flash for you buddy, Palin was a politician too, but her children are not. Yet they appear to be fair game for people when the Obama twins are verboten. I don’t mind the Palin jokes, if they were funny.
As for my use of language. I see one (1) word that can be considered a dirty word. And according to the Board of standards and practices for T.V. that word is now allowed in broadcasts to the public. It’s naïve to think that any school aged child who is surfing the Internet has not been exposed to far worse on the school ground, street corner, from other kids, or dare I say it their parents. However, you are right won’t some one PLEASE think of the children! So if I have offended any child who can spell political pandering then I apologize not only to them but to their parents who allow them to surf the Internet without a filter.
Your thinly veiled attempts at character assassination in the guise of humor only leads me to believe that she is having far more of an impact on the mid-terms than you or many would like. Being admired by the people is a threat?
As always you are welcome to your opinion and I encourage you to express it often.
George,
You’re welcome to your opinion as am I. And as for getting a sense of humor I suggest you do the same. Nowhere have I defended Palin, and if you are a reader you will know I have consistently stated she has no more experience at running a country as Obama does. Grow up.
President Obama have done more for this dam country then all of Bush 8 years and that is a fact. President Obama didn’t sell this country out with the jobs the republicans did. I am so sick and tired of all the old WHITE men who is just full of hate and by the way are sara palin’s most admirers in this country. There are some women not more but the one who love sara palin have to be stupied she has not been for anything that helps women she is only for herself, she didn’t support a bill that was for children with disabilities and she have a child with disabilities so why in the hell would any women vote for her. Just because I am a female I would never vote for that DUMB ASS WOMEN SHE WOULD MAKE THE U.S. LOOK CRAZY one thing about Obama he has shown the WORLD CLASS and that’s what people like yourself can’t stand a BLACK MAN WITH A COLLEGE EDUCATION, SMART AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IN 2008 AND WILL AGAIN IN 2012 BECAUSE THE PARTY IS FULL OF CRAZY ASS PEOPLE WITH EXTREME VIEWS THAT SCARES MOST OF AMERICA
George,
Thank you for your comment.
Boy, some people here can give it, but can’t seem to take it. I have never commented on here before, but Consti, you come off as an immature bully and just need to stop because you are embarrassing yourself. I think my 5 year old handles adversity better. You are as fair and balanced as Fox News.
Get some class! And get a sense of humor while you are at it. Dfunzy, we’re laughing with you instead of at you. Can’t say that for Consti.
Consti Tution,
There are school children who read this site. Bad language, profanity, are not necessary to expressed strong opinions and to defend well your position. There are many Palin Internet jokes which are profane. I will never post them anywhere. As one who will stand with you against censorship, I ask you to join me with a little self-censorship.
Also, gang. Readers. I have more Palin Internet jokes.
It would take a lot of wine for me to sit through this. “Sarah Palin to Give Address at Wine and Spirits Convention”
Sarah Palin is like a Magic 8 Ball. You never know what she will say next. But you do know it will come from a rather limited repertoire.
I was wondering, Has anyone actually seen Sarah Palin’s Birth Certificate?
HA! Fox might be interested in Conan, but they filled their comedy slot with Sarah Palin.
The similarities between Sarah Palin and Bart Simpson are often striking. Neither does their homework.
Sarah Palin’s depth of knowledge is as deep as my Strawberry Yoplait.
I like to watch Fox News Analyst Sarah Palin when I’m on the treadmill because laughing so hard really works my abs.
Letterman: “Sarah Palin made her debut as a Fox News
analyst. They finally found a job that she’s not under-qualified for.”
Sarah Palin as a news correspondent solidifies the fact that Fox News is an unreliable source Bill O’Reily & Ann Culter must be happy. gag.
Sarah Palin: Guaranteeing Barack Obama Four More Years.
After Consti Tution posted his first Dem jokes, I wrote , “I am going to have to answer these jokes later.,” and I added,” Expect More Palin, more political humor. ”
Well, I am answering now. Obama, Biden and Pelosi are politicians. Politicians are fitting targets for humor. On this site, there has been a whole lot of pokes and jabs at Dems, and loud snickers when the progressives here do not reply. I do not defend politicians , and I am not offended by a little humor at their expense. There has been very little poking at right wing politicians. Their defenders come running to silence anyone who tries, as if they have a mandate from the Almighty to do so. I did not begin to post the Palin Internet jokes as an in-your-face to her supporters on this site. I don’t do in your face, because they are a waste of time. As I was doing this article on Palin, considering if she would be a factor in this year’s elections, I came across these Palin jokes, lots of them. All recent. All written after her FOX News job was announced. All written by average Americans expressing their opinion of Mrs. Palin. I think they are funny and would add to the discussion.
D,
When you censor your blatant sexism I will censor my language. Until then as George S. Patton said: “When I want them to remember it I give it to them loud and dirty.”
Consti Tution,
Try to pick out jokes that have no bad language. There are many of them.
Posting jokes with profanity reflects badly on the poster and this board.
Lizbeth,
Thank you for your keen observations and your contribution to the discussion.
Consti Tution,
All these are internet jokes. Humor is very subjective, political humor, moreso. And yes a joke is a statement, an expression of ideas –the opinion of the author. Go read the jokes you posted in this comment section on Obama, Biden and Pelosi. Are they not statements? Many Americans find the Palin jokes very funny. So do I. There will be more.
.
In the spirit of this post I give you more jokes about…. The One.
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”
Obama happens!
Obamacare: Bury your mistakes.
ObamaCare: Prescription for disaster.
ObamaCare: Shovel ready.
ObamaCare: Bend over, America!
ObamaCare: A grave error.
ObamaCare: Real voodoo economics.
ObamaCare: Just say Nobama!
A village in Kenya is missing an idiot.
My other car maker belongs to Obama.
Obama Koolaid: 100% Fact Free.
If it ain’t broke, Obama will fix it until it is.
Obama makes every day seem like Monday.
Obama just said “No” to drugs. They didn’t listen.
Friends don’t let friends vote Obama.
Obama supporters vote early and often.
Obama: Short change, false hope.
Don’t steal. Obama hates the competition.
Obama: Rebuilding America, after tearing it down.
Annoy Obama. Think for yourself!
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t reelect Obama!
Obama would kill for another Nobel Peace Prize.
If Obama is the answer, what was the question?
Obama ain’t over ’til the First Lady sings.
A funny Obama motto: “A penny saved is a penny taxed.”
Another funny Obama motto: “If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.”
When Obama and tax collectors meet, they wink at each other.
Under an Obama presidency the IRS will be more diligent about detecting red flags, like leftover money in your bank account after you pay your taxes.
Obama says we should be proud to pay more taxes, but the funny thing is that most of us could be just as proud for half the money.
Have you ever noticed how Obama thinks nothing is impossible as long as somebody else has to pay for it?
There’s nothing wrong with the people who voted for Obama that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.
Once Obama is president if you get up early, work late and get a second job, you will still be able to get ahead - if you hit the lottery.
Blessed are they who find Obama funny, for they shall never cease to be entertained.
When Obama is sworn in as President, the only real “gun nuts” will be the people who don’t have any.
It’s a funny thing about socialists; give one an inch and the next thing you know he’ll be president.
Obama said “NO” to drugs, but they must not have heard him.
Even though Obama doesn’t have any experience, we’ll get plenty.
Obama’s cabinet is shaping up to be a funny sort of life form; lots of legs but no brains.
Critics are telling lies about Obama… and most of them are true. (Tip o’the hat to Winston Churchill.)
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average Obama voter. (Another tip o’the hat to Winston Churchill.)
The Obama administration respects our property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. (Tip o’the hat to G. K. Chesterton.)
Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t come from Madrassas.
Beer is better than Obama because you know what’s in beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t take half your paycheck.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better.
Beer is better than Obama because you’re sad if there’s no more beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t lie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t have entitlement demands.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don’t mix.
Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don’t.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.
Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.
Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.
Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.
Beer is better than Obama because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious.
Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t promise you a free lunch.
Beer is better than Obama because there ain’t no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
*”Bilal – Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)”
Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t throw you under the bus.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t cut and run.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn’t phony.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t flip-flop.
Beer is better than Obama because beer’s ingredients known for sure.
Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn’t promoted on National Public Radio.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you own an SUV.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t care how much you make.
Beer is better than Obama because a beer won’t blame America for 9/11.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t whine, it bubbles.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn’t a lawyer.
Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.
Beer is better than Obama because you’re not afraid to turn your back on a beer.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don’t have friends who bombed the pentagon.
Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.
Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t tell you what you want to hear.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t lecture you about “global warming.”
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t care what color you are.
Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t want to take away your gun.
Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people.
Beer is better than Obama because beer isn’t crazy.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don’t start out as empties.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don’t rig elections.
Beer is better than Obama because beers don’t raise taxes.
Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don’t mix.
Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake.
Obama created new states from out of the void.
Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers.
Obama came to us carried upon a donkey.
Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men.
Obama was stoned and yet he has risen.
Obama’s flock has millions of sheep.
Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms.
You must have no other candidates before Obama.
Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it.
Obama Hymns
Barack Loves Thee
Barack loves Thee! This we know,
Katie Couric tells us so.
All our base to Him belong;
We are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
So do as you are told.
All Hail the Messiah
All hail the messiah Obama! Obama!
The path to the new socialist motherland!
Our savior, our savior Obama! Obama!
The leader more smarter than Lindsay Lohan!
Bow down and praise the One!
Give him your money and your guns!
Give us a country that makes your wife proud!
Lord Barry will heal the bitter ones!
Whites and Clinging to faith and guns!
Hope for the change of the hope of the change!
Holy, Holy, Holy
Holy, holy, holy! Obama Almighty!
On election day the dead will vote for Thee;
Holy, holy, holy, merciless and mighty!
The One now come in Person, for the DNC!
Holy, holy, holy! The MSM adores Thee,
Casting off their ethics and objectivity;
All of their reporters falling down before Thee,
They your willing servants evermore shall be.
Backwards Barack’s Soldiers
Backwards, Barack’s soldiers, retreat from the war,
With no preconditions going on before.
Barack, the new Commander, flees the ancient foe;
Leaves behind the battle, hear Him spinning go!
Pastor Wright and a Barack Obama arrived in Heaven at the same time. Saint Peter checked them both in and assigned them their rooms. “Pastor Wright, here is the key to one of our standard efficiency units. But for you, Mr. Obama, here’s the key to the finest penthouse suite in Heaven.” “Why don’t I get a penthouse too? I’m a minister!” Pastor Wright complained. “Think about it,” Saint Peter replied, “There are plenty of ministers up here, but Obama is the first lawyer or politician we’ve ever seen.”
Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Kool-Aid, of course.
Q. Why doesn’t the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?
A. Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.
Q. Why does Obama Messiah wear his hair so short?
A. So it won’t get tangled in his turban.
Q. Why will Obama Messiah remove the windows in the White House?
A. He’ll replace them all with stained glass.
Q. Why didn’t Obama Messiah notice all of the terrible things Pastor Wright was saying?
A. He was too busy polishing his Halo.
Q. Why did Obama Messiah say that Americans are “bitter” and they “cling” to religion?
A. The Devil made him do it.
Hillary wants socialism to go from the cradle to the grave. Obama Messiah wants it to go from conception through the resurrection.
Q. Why haven’t Obama’s followers demanded that his face be added to Mount Rushmore yet?
A. They’re still trying to figure out how to carve a stone halo.
Q. What does the Obama Messiah say when someone sneezes?
A. I bless you.
‘Twas the Night before Christmas in the White House
Tip o’the hat to Clement and Mitzi
‘Twas the night before Christmas in the White House
Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse
The stockings where hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that more money soon would be there
Obama was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of unemployed danced in his head
Michelle in her ‘kerchief, and Barack in Mao cap
Had just settled down for their long winter nap
When on the front lawn there arose such a clatter
Barack crawled from his bed to see what’s the matter
Away to the window he made a quick dash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
When what to his watery eyes should appear
But an old clunker sleigh and eight sickly reindeer
Santa said not a word, but continued his works
Stacking up earmarks and lobbyists’ perks
Santa looked straight at Obama and finally spoke
Thanks to you, Mr. President, now I’m flat broke
It took my life savings to pay my tax bill
And what I have left is just next to nil
I can’t even afford to light up Rudolph’s red nose
With a flip of one finger up the chimney Santa rose
Then Santa exclaimed as he flew through the rain
Oh, how I wish our President’s name was McCain
Obama isn’t getting Hillary Clinton a present this year because she hasn’t used the one he got her last Christmas. It was a cemetery plot.
Mail your packages early so that Obama’s post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Tip o’the hat to Johnny Carson
This Christmas is expected to be one of the coldest on record. If it’s cold enough, Obama might even keep his hands in his own pockets.
Q. What will Barack Obama get for Christmas?
A. Your job, your car and your house.
Q. Why did the Supreme Court block having a Nativity Scene displayed at the White House this year?
A. Plenty of donkeys, but no wise men.
If Obama promises to be good next year, maybe Santa will give him a clue for Christmas.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He’s deciding which of his names (Barack Barry Hussein Obama Soetoro) to put on it.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. The ink isn’t dry yet.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. Hillary Clinton won’t give it back to him.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He wants to surprise us at his swearing in.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got shredded with his Rezko mortgage records.
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Q. Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
A. She the one with the cojones.
Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.
Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.
Q. Why does Barack want higher taxes?
A. Cause he won’t be the one paying them.
Q: What’s the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.
Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy. (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)
Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.
Q. What’s the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
A. Obama’s nose doesn’t grow when he lies.
Q. Candidate Obama has been telling us, “Yes We Can.” What will President Obama tell us?
A. “Yes You Will.”
Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.
Q. Why did Barack Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A. He didn’t want to have to work for a living.
Q: What is a lawyer gone bad called?
A: Senator Obama.
Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.
Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.
Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.
Q. Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A. It will only have a left wing.
Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
Barack Obama says, “Let them eat arugala.”
Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.
Obama Is So Pretty
Obama is so pretty that the new symbol of the Democrat Party will be a unicorn
Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him
Obama is so pretty that the White House Rose Garden will need to triple in size
Obama is so pretty that his anti-matter version is James Carville
Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he’s smart
Obama is so pretty that he won’t ride in Ted Kennedy’s car
Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store
Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit
Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka
Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips
Obama is so pretty that his mirror on the wall was struck speechless
Obama is so pretty that he can wear white after labor day
Obama is so pretty that Michelle carried him over the threshhold
Obama is so pretty that the Navy won’t name a submarine after him
Obama is so pretty that he knows Victoria’s Secret
Obama is so pretty that he never has that “not so fresh” feeling
Obama is so pretty that he never farts
Obama is so pretty that he won’t give Hillary Clinton his phone number
Biden Obama Jokes
Q. What ever happened to Joe Biden’s old wig?
A. It was chased away by a dog.
Q. Why did Joe Biden get a hair transplant?
A. To hide the mark of the beast.
Q. What’s the difference between Obama bin Biden and Osama bin Laden?
A. With Obama bin Biden you get two for the price of one.
McCain versus Obama Jokes
If John McCain is elected President of the United States then the French will immediately surrender to us. If Barack Obama is elected President then the French will immediately invade us.
Here an interesting fact: If you add John McCain’s age and Barack Obama’s age together you’ll get the number of times Obama usually says “uh” when answering a question.
The age disparity between the two candidates in the upcoming election is significant. John McCain is 71 years old. By contrast, Barack Obama is 322 years old in dog years.
Q. Why did John McCain cross the road?
A. There was an Old Town Buffet on the other side.
Q, Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
A. To help the other side.
After Barack Obama claimed to have campaigned in 57 states, John McCain should have sent him the name of a good Alzheimer’s specialist.
John McCain rolled up his sleeves and went offshore in the Gulf of Mexico looking for oil for American drivers. Barack Obama responded by going to the shores of Hawaii, taking off his shirt and oiling up his torso for American soccer moms.
Barack Obama’s camp claims that John McCain was cheating in their first forum appearance because he actually gave straight answers to the questions. Politicians aren’t supposed to do that.
Any candidate that John McCain picks to be his vice president will necessarily be a younger candidate than he is. Any candidate Barack Obama picks to be his vice president will necessarily be better candidate than he is.
It’s a hard election for conservatives this year. They’ll have to hold their noses tight in order to cast a vote for John McCain. But they’ll have to hold on even tighter to their wallets if Obama gets elected.
The sad fact is that if John McCain is elected President he might not last another four more years. A sadder fact is that if Barack Obama is elected President then America might not last another four more years.
Lizbeth,
And being a woman how do you feel about her children being bashed in the press? When Obama’s kids are off limits? I’d say the treatment of Palin has set the womans movement back a decade. It’s ok to bash Palin, but Hillary is a great woman for sticking by her cheating husband? Hypocracy knows no bounds.
D,
Some of what you posted are not jokes, they are statements. You should know the difference.
“pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”
I see you pratice it well.
Funny…Look at what people here have said about the PRESIDENT of the United States…a man whose office, at the very least, should deserve some respect…But then they get on Dfunzy about reprinting some jokes about a woman who has done next to nothing and walked away from the only truly important job she ever had.
I do have to question the intelligence and common sense of a woman who time and time again CHOOSES to be poorly spoken (and a communications major at that!), ill-prepared and uninformed at best while trying to pass herself off as a person who is worthy of major public office. If she were a Dem I can easily imagine what would be said about her on this site by conservatives. It would be far worse, and far more personal and nasty…As a woman, I think Sarah Palin is a joke and am insulted that out of all the women out there in public office that the GOP chose to elevate someone who is so obviously unsuited, and uncommitted about becoming well-suited, for a major national public office. They could have done SO much better…and the fact that they still cling to this piece of Northern driftwood shows just how truly desparate they are.
As many people seem to like Paris Hilton, by the amount of press she gets, as like Sarah Palin but somehow I don’t see her popularity as reason for HER to be a candidate for president or VP. At least she’s real about being a fame whore…
More Internet Sarah Palin jokes. America keeps writing them.
Sarah Palin on Fox News “Air and Unbalanced.”
A couple of thoughts here tonight. First, Sarah Palin would most likely fail my intro to American politics class.
“The perception is that Sarah Palin is a dunderhead.” — Bill O’Reilly || Perception, Bill?
Fox News divides by zero, hires the stupidest human God ever created, Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin is gonna start hosting her own shows on Fox News. This is gonna be hillarious.
Sarah Palin’s face reminds me of a parrot for some reason….how weird is that?// Polly want a Clue?
Sarah Palin needs more cowbell.
Narcissus looked into a pool of water & saw Sarah Palin.
Erick, Ben,
I wrote none of the Internet jokes. They are out there. Many Americans do not share your opinion of Mrs Palin. These jokes reflect the opinions of many Americans.
D, this has gone past the jokes and any attempt at funny. Now, you are just putting pure insults out there.
I’m w/ Erik. Since when is her intelligence in question? Her preparedness for the job to which she was nominated…sure. Her grasp of foreign policy, I can see. But her intelligence?
Just out of curiousity, where/when did Palin take on a reputation of being stupid? I can understand how/why she would have a ton of naysayers. But her intelligence has never seemed to be in question to me.
More Sarah Palin Internet Jokes. America is cracking jokes!
Sarah Palin says Google pulling out of China proves that abstinence education works.
Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin — stupid in stereo.
When Glen Beck interviewing Sarah Palin, pressed her to come up with her favorite founding father, she said: “Uh….well…George Washington?”
4th graders are way more knowledgeable of us history than Sarah Palin.
The world Will truly end in 2012 if Sarah Palin runs for President and succeeds!
Sarah Palin’s reaction to Haiti tragedy? Friend says “She can’t see Haiti from her house, so she has no idea where the f— it is.”
Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin Offer To Co-Host Saturday Night Live. Who said they weren’t a couple of clowns?
Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin together for an hour on Fox. It’s like the Large Hadron Collider of Ignorance.
Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin were on TV at the same time? I’m no physicist, but wouldn’t that be an area so dense that it would collapse?
Oh thank god Sarah Palin is back on tv. She makes me laugh. It’s like my comedy nerves were all jangly, and now I’m relaxed again.
Ben,
What is funny and what is not funny is based on where you sit. This is true for all humor. For political humor, this is the first observation of a humorist. Some people find these jokes very funny, and some will never see a glint of humor in them. As for your opinion of them, sorry, expect more. More Palin and others.
I applaud your attempt at humor, d, but that wasn’t close to funny…and I truly enjoy good political humor.
Lizbeth,
Thanks for commenting
Dfunzy,
Bumpit ad… I laughed so hard I almost spit out my coffee…:-)
More of those wonderful, funny Sarah Palin Internet jokes. From the people of America. Emjoy.
Sarah Palin being on FOX is like the guy in the stands who caught that ball in the World Series being asked to be a host on ESPN.
Hahaha. Sarah Palin on fox news. hilarious.
Sarah Palin fair and balanced? Since when?!
Watching Sarah Palin on Fox, “if you turn off the sound Sarah Palin looks like an infomercial for the Bumpit”
I think that Sarah Palin the “pundit” is going to be a lot worse than Sarah Palin the “candidate”.
“We tried picking the leader at random. It’s called Sarah Palin.” – Stephen Colbert.
Its pure hysterical. Now Sarah Palin joined Fox News . It is better than some comedy shows.
Sarah Palin thinks Lithuania is what you get as a side effect from Lithium.
Wow! Sarah Palin is going to be a news caster on fox. — just another right winger who doesn’t know anything.
Sarah Palin needs to start wearing a dunce hat to give people fair warning on how real dumb she is.
Consti Tution
I am going to have to answer these jokes later. Expect More Palin, more political humor.
D(not)Funny
Ok. Humor. I am all for that. So with that in mind I give you… Obama Jokes. (None of these are mind btw)
Q: What is the difference between ObamaCare and a car battery?
A: The battery has a positive side.
Q. Why did Obama cross the road?
A. Actually, Obama promised to cross the road, but then he didn’t.
If Obama had half a brain, his butt would be lopsided.
President Obama is to statesmanship as an Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Q. What is Barack Obama’s favorite lunch meat?
A. Mao Tse Tongue.
If Barack Obama had been the Commander in Chief of the Sioux and the Cheyenne, George Armstrong Custer would have died of old age.
Q. Why was Obama staring at the frozen orange juice can?
A. It said “concentrate”.
Q. What would you get if you crossed Albert Einstein with Barack Obama?
A. E = MC Hammer
ObamaCare side effects may include swollen deficits, shortness of doctors, difficulty getting treatment, elevated tax rates and premature death.
If the Obama health care plan makes sense to you, it’s time to up your medication.
Here’s another sign of ObamaCare. Examination rooms have tip jars.
Q: What is the ObamaCare plan to encourage physical fitness?
A: Higher gas taxes to encourage walking.
A Democrat told a Republican, “I just got a great new hearing aid, thanks to ObamaCare.”
The Republican asked, “What kind is it?”
The Democrat replied, “A quarter after two o’clock.”
Obama is having such a hard time selling his health care plan that he’s thinking about putting it on eBay.
Or if you like Pelosi jokes…..
“Yesterday, during a speech, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said the CIA misleads us all the time…You know, unlike Congress.” –Jay Leno
“House Speaker Nancy Pelosi now says the CIA and President Bush misled her on waterboarding. Yeah. Apparently she was misled by the Bush Administration. So she spends eight years telling everybody how dumb President Bush is, and the minute they’re in trouble, ‘He fooled me! I had no idea! He tricked me!’” –Jay Leno
Senator Harry Reid’s “negro” remarks about President Obama raised eyebrows in Democratic circles, except for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, of course, who hasn’t raised an eyebrow since her first BoTox injection in 1968.
Then there is the plethora of Biden Jokes….
Joe thinks FDR addressed the nation on television
during the Depression (before FDR became President,
and before Americans had television sets).
Joe thinks J-O-B-S is a three-letter word.
“Vice President Joe Biden said on the ‘Today’ show that the subways in New York City are not safe because of swine flu. Hey Joe, listen to this – the subways weren’t safe before swine flu.” –David Letterman
“Oh, on Friday, President Obama was taken to a secure location in the White House after a single engine plane strayed over White House air space. As a precaution, they took the President to a place in the White House nobody even knew existed — Joe Biden’s office.” –Jay Leno
“Today was Joe Biden’s first full day as vice president. Yeah, advisors say Biden spent most of the day watering his hair.” –Conan O’Brien
“It’s Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s birthday today. And Barack Obama bought him 12 cupcakes for his birthday, which is a smart gift to give Biden because when his mouth is full of cupcakes he can’t say anything stupid.” –Craig Ferguson
“After his big speech in North Carolina today, Senator Joe Biden said he was experiencing a sore throat and lost his voice. Boy, the good news doesn’t stop for Barack Obama. Just one lucky break after another.” –Jay Leno
“Joe Biden is Barack Obama’s running mate. Yeah, nothing says change like a guy who’s been in the Senate for 35 years.” –David Letterman
And the BIGGEST joke of all……
The current Democratically Controlled Congresses promises of Transparency.
As promised. More internet Sarah Palin jokes. Read and enjoy.
Just when I thought FOX News couldn’t get any worse, along comes Sarah Palin!
Proof positive that Sarah Palin is an IDIOT. Even McCain’s senior adviser says so.
When Sarah Palin is talking, you wish there were the audio equivalent of SpellCheck.
Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck together on Fox News – The Quitter and The Crying Game – Teapartiers’s Afternoon Delight!
Sarah Palin – Fox News’ attempt to make Glenn Beck appear more intelligent…and it’s working! Teamed up as “Dumb & Dumber” in a daily segment.
Sarah Palin has never quit clogging your tiny mental cavities, that’s her real job.
Not at all surprised that Sarah Palin will be working for Fox News. I guess ‘going rogue’ worked out & she’ll finally get to see Russia.
Sarah Palin will lend a level of stupidity yet to be achieved at Fox News. Hard to think they can be more stupid.
Sarah Palin goes rogue, joins Fox.
Just voted biggest liar of 2009, Sarah Palin gets a contract on FOX // Biggest Liar of the decade.
If It Walks Like A Duck…It’s Probably Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin: “What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about China censoring Barney Google? It’s just a comic strip, for goodness sake!”
Glenn Beck – drunk; Rush Limbaugh – drug addict; Sarah Palin – quitter and know nothing. These are the people rupubs listen to; whose stupid.
First thing I see on TV this morning? Sarah Palin. That’s a sure sign today is going to be awful.
Harrison,
Thanks for your visit and the comment. BTW, I enjoy reading your blog, “Just Politics.”
Palin will do fine. Fox News makes more money than all the other cable news outlets combined and they have the highest ratings. Palin doesn’t get her own show so she will probably do other things. Clearly, Americans like her, no matter what garbage is spouted about her by those who are jealous of her success.
Ben wrote –”dfunzy, that was just stupid…even for you. ”
Stupid? Is the word you want to use is stupid?
No, Ben. I am bringing a little humor to this site. If you don’t like the Palin jokes, sorry. I am going to have more of them.
dfunzy, that was just stupid…even for you.
Here are some of the latest Sarah Palin Jokes Found On The Internet!
Tina Fey now admits she used performance enhancing stupid pills during her impersonations of Sarah Palin.
God vetted Sarah Palin. Result? President Obama.
Sen McCain’s staff noted that Sarah Palin was actually as dumb as an Army Mule. Did Not know North from South Korea.
Calling Sarah Palin an airhead is an insult to air.
I had a stomach virus yesterday. Best thing about it, I dropped 5 bs. I’m doing the same barfing after Palin and Fox talk
Homer Simpson to be added to Fox News to lend intellectual credibility // Lisa Simspon would be better than Homer or Palin!
Sarah Palin is one of those people lucky enough not to be cursed with self-awareness.
Palin joins Fox news as a paid commentator. Studies indicate that her participation actually INCREASES the overall intelligence of FOX NEWS.
Tanya Harding got her technique from Sarah Palin ironically both declined hunting trip with Chaney.
Let’s not forget the nasty rumors started by the “knee cappers” about her family. The only person I feel sorry for is Bristol. It was distasteful, arrogant, and sleazy to go after her kids when the Obama twins (activate! Form of political trophies!) were off limits.
I never supported Palin as a candidate. This may seem unusual because I am a conservative who was born in Alaska. I did not grow up there and found out about her like everyone else during the Republican convention. That being said, this article is a cheap shot.
Being the magnet to both supporters and detractors that she is, she found herself facing dozens of false accusations and trivial lawsuits that put her and her family deeply into debt just to clear her name. She has been exonerated on every charge and accusation and legal filing made against her by the knee-cappers of the left– the lawyers– that has been decided up to this time. She wants to be heard. Many Americans do– including those of us who blog on this site. Fox has given her a platform to be heard on a national stage without being edited or quoted out of context. She has already made plenty of money and strikes me as a relatively low cost celebrity (i.e. not requiring weekly trips to $10,000 plate fundraisers, wearing expensive clothes when not campaigning, needing multiple residences in exclusive resorts, etc…).
As for Huckabee: the shooter who killed four police officers in Seattle effectively killed his hopes for the presidency as well. Republicans believe in strong police and enforcement as well as life long criminals remaining in jail as long as possible.
As for David Brooks: he and his types sure helped the Republicans the last time around as well as the election before that one. You wouldn’t give this man a second thought when he criticizes what you believe but when he is on the same page he is a “thinker”.
Ditto for Steve Schmidt. Except his failure was epic. He ran a campaign with a war hero candidate who is clearly in the center against an inexperienced, unqualified, most left voting member in the Senate and lost by epic proportions– effectively handing our country over to one party.