Scientists discover the cause of Liberalism

by Jerry Mandered on April 7, 2011

A few years back, Dr. Lyle H. Rossiter wrote a book entitled The Liberal Mind. The thesis of the good doctor’s tome was that modern Liberalism is “a massive transference neurosis acted out in the world’s political arenas.”

As historical evidence has shown, election after election, liberals tend to hail from big cities. Even cities in Conservative states, surrounded by the reddest of red suburbs, are notoriously Liberal. In addition to the psychological evidence offered by Dr. Rossiter, there is now research out of the University of Southern California that identifies a cause for brain damage that can lead to memory loss and development disorders (presumably, these disorders include Liberalism). The culprit according to researchers is smog.

So if I am connecting the dots correctly, smog causes modern Liberalism.

This leaves me to come to a most ironic conclusion. Allow me to go a little further back in the causal chain.

My Leftist friends tell me we have pollution because of GOP policies to protect heavy industry from EPA regulation. I know they are mentally ill, but let’s assume they are correct, that the GOP supports polluting industries and gas guzzling automobiles that add to our cities’ levels of pollution. If this is the case, the ultimate cause of the “massive transference neurosis” known as Liberalism is the GOP.

In a karmic sense, the GOP, through its support of industry, is the ultimate creator of the Liberal mind.

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Jerry Mandered April 8, 2011 at 11:09 am

I used to practice yoga. I once had a (very Liberal) yoga instructor who commanded his class to breathe in the white, clean air, and exhale the black, dirty air. I wonder if he realized he was creating Conservatives?

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Consti Tution April 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm

I can see the protest signs now… MORE C02 LESS O2! O2 = Hittler! Air kills babies! NO WAR FOR AIR! NO BLOOD FOR AIR! HEY HO THIS AIR HAS GOT TO GO! I’m air free are you?

I could go on for hours this is fun…

AFL-CIO is anti-O2! Union workers against O2! The only good O2 is a dead O2! Keep your hands off my CO2 (that one’s just for the ladies >:) )

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Erik the Red April 7, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Yes, the GOP and Al Gore, with his energy-guzzling mansion and 3 SUVs.

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J Byron April 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

So… The Left is C02 and the Right is pure O2? Are you saying that the addition of Carbon creates Liberalism? It sounds to me like your blaming the dark heavy molecules for insanity. Fat, blacks! Very racist Jerry, very racist indeed, on a molecular level of course.

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