Consti here in the Bunker morgue where it is my sad duty to inform a grieving nation that the married couple known as “Democracy and Liberty” are dead. They perished on impact in a fiery hope and change accident over the weekend. The other driver listed as a “Barrack Hussein Obama” survived and is being questioned about the cause of the incident. There is some confusion about Mr. Obama in that he states his place of birth as Hawaii, yet the Social Security number listed for him is issued out of Connecticut. Investigators are looking into potential criminal intent.
Below are portions of the coroner’s report.
The patient known as Democracy suffered multiple voting injuries to his PORT CHESTER, N.Y. area. Normally the means in which Democracy rejuvenated itself was “ONE PERSON ONE VOTE.” However due to a misdiagnosis by a federal judge multiple votes were inflicted on Democracy to effect a pre-determined outcome. In the Medical world this is known as “vote rigging.” Or in the layman’s terms “special privilege.”
Democracy also suffered a rupture in its Gulf region as a result of years of neglect and hard living had weakened the area. Loss of oil contributed to the subject’s death from excessive internal spending. Attempts were made on scene to cap the bleed but after 61 days the attending Federal Agencies were not fast enough in their efforts. (Apparently after arriving on scene the attending Federal Agencies found the third party a Mr. Obama golfing. Proper protocol was not followed in treatment of the patient as despite emergency preparedness plans no floating boom tourniquets were available at the time of the accident.)
However cause of death was listed as “a ruptured economy” due to the complete loss of jobs in the private sector. The patient suffered this loss as a result of the hope and change accident. This lead to anemic job growth which was unable to sustain the patient’s life signs causing systemic voter fatigue.
The patient known as liberty apparently had a pre-existing condition defined as Terminal Terrorism Syndrome or TTS. Prior to the incident the patient had suffered from several attacks of TTS over the last year. These included incidents at Ft. Hood, Times Square, and on Christmas day of 2009. As a result of this TTS attending Federal Agencies are now calling for unrestricted monitoring of the internet despite recently condemning past agencies for implementing near the same policies. They assure that this is needed to prevent further cases of TTS from erupting in the public domain. Further legislation is pending at the time this report was filed.
The patient Liberty also suffered a rupture in their border region which caused an unusually large intake of illegal immigrants into their system. This large influx of illegal aliens caused a systemic failure of Liberty’s financial and support infrastructure. This failure led the patient to drown in its own undocumented workers. The SEIU has petitioned for the remains of the Liberty patient to harvest the votes of the Illegal Aliens sample through a process known as amnesty. Liberty’s surviving relatives are fighting this petition headed by Liberty’s niece Arizona. A statement from the state is forthcoming.
Cause of death for the patient known as Liberty is listed as a systemic failure of the internal organs known as the government sector.
Both Democracy and Liberty are survived by an offspring known as the Constitution. When asked for comment about the death of its parent’s the Constitution was quoted as saying potential legal action is being considered against those who failed to enforce the laws of the United States which caused this tragic accident. Lawyers representing the Constitution have gone on record stating that all avenues of legal recourse for this hope and change accident will be pursued with vigorous help from the kind donations of the American Public. The Constitution wanted to thank all the people who offered their support and prayers during this difficult time. Memorial services are scheduled this coming November and protestors from the Westborough Baptist Church are expected.
The suspect Mr. Barrack Hussein Obama has a registered residence of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and lists his occupation as Leader of the free world. Previously the suspect listed his occupation as community organizer which raises questions as to his fitness to pilot a vehicle of government while under the influence of mandated healthcare.
When the local Main Stream Media was asked about the investigation it declined comment citing a policy of ignorance pertaining to ongoing investigations.
Consti.
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Thank you for your kind words. The silence from the left is a roar in my ears. Do you hear it too?
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